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Almar Floozies
Arlene, Patricia, Susan & Sally. When these ladies aren’t shopping, having beauty treatments or tanning they can usually be found providing encouragement to their men folk over the top of their tipple of choice. If you see them please say “Hello” and none of them are adverse to being bought a drink.
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Gary Muller
Gary is on his first visit to Chiang Mai. It’s said he bowls like Kiwi Kyle Mills and bats like Aussie David Boon. Hopefully this combination will provide the classic romanticism of an Almar victory and not the turgid prose of defeat. His wide shoulders will come in handy to help carry the hopes of the team’s top order batting as well as the kit bag. We wish him well and hope that he can, in the words of his family yogurt business, ‘lick the lid of life.’
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Lindsay ‘Jigger’ Halkett
Lindsay is back for his second visit to Chiang Mai after a long sabbatical. Because of his absence none of his teammates can remember if he bought with him any special qualities other than that of a Troubadour. The dictionary definition of his nickname does suggest that he is “equipment with a purpose.” But it also states that he is an “object used for drinking liquids.” Luckily both should come in handy in Chiang Mai.
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Neil Strybiss
Neil is back for his third tour. On his two previous visits he has proved that he has an abundance of talents. Unfortunately as yet they don’t seem to include cricket. As a future star of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ the team hope that he can transfer his proficiency for ‘Swing’ to the cricket ball and ‘Calypso Zumba’ to his batting. The less said the better about his ‘Skanking.’
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Ron ‘Nessy’ Nes
Ron again carries the millstone of Almar’s batting around his neck. That he does this wearing lycra lingerie is now of no concern. His teammates are still waiting to take advantage of his fiscally well-heeled wallet, which is reportedly full of Australian Dollars. Whether this happens before the next sighting of the Loch Ness Monster is still an ongoing matter of conjecture.
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Terry Wallace
Unfortunately the same can not be said of Terry Jnr. He hasn’t retired gracefully from playing, despite the numerous pleas from teammates, to concentrate on team management duties. Now self appointed player/manager he is modeling his style, skills is not a word you can use in describing Terry, on Julius Melema. The team are hoping for better results than his hero’s ‘G’ in woodwork. Regrettably this ANC [Almarian Natives Club] does not have the power to expel from office.
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William Crichton-Stuart
William again helps bring the average age of the team down a decade or two. He gets yet another, and some say final, chance to prove that he brings more than youthful exuberance to the team. If he could hold up and end with either his batting or bowling as well as he holds up the bar he might have the makings of an almost decent cricketer.